“My wife found out I named our daughter after a porn game”

1 – 2009/08/05 11:42:07.29 ID:Gv0Doadv0
I came home from work yesterday to find a porn-game box I had hidden placed on top of the keyboard.

Kana: Little Sister

I tried to talk my way out of it at first, but my wife’s decided that I got the name from this game, and it’s pretty much the truth anyway, so I couldn’t. I tried to emphasize how nice a girl Kana is, but that didn’t work either. I’ve got both my and the wife’s parents coming to a family conference after I get home today.

20 – 2009/08/05 11:45:45.93 ID:dNaLV1HeO
Uh, Kana dies, doesn’t she?
That’s creepy, so at least make it Saya or something

29 – 2009/08/05 11:46:58.86 ID:Gv0Doadv0
Once I found out she was gonna be a girl, I had no choice in my mind but Kana.

36 – 2009/08/05 11:49:16.57 ID:uadBUOR80
You know they’re gonna have her write about where her name came from sometime or other during elementary school. Are you gonna tell her the truth then?

48 – 2009/08/05 11:51:41.54 ID:Gv0Doadv0
I’ll tell her that it came from Canaan because I wanted peace in the Middle East.

39 – 2009/08/05 11:50:16.73 ID:Cq6BhfVd0
There’s been a name I’ve had in my mind for a daughter for ages now. Can you guess what it is?

It’s Haruhi.

I couldn’t do it in the end, though. I’m jealous of >>1′s bravery.

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Mr. Takanori Hashimoto, part 2

Following up my original post a little while ago, I thought I’d catch up on what my favorite shogi player, Mr. Takanori Hashimoto, has been up to over the summer. The last time I saw him, he looked like this:

Here he is again on TV a few days back on NHK’s shogi instruction program. Looks like he (A) gained a little weight (B) decided an inner tube was the perfect accessory for his televised match that day. (Heavyweight boxers WWE wrestlers have elaborate ring-entry sequences; shogi has this.)

It hasn’t all been smiles, though — he had an unexpected loss in a tournament on NHK the previous week, and he was a little broken up about it:

If you want to know more about what professional shogi is like, this video will tell you absolutely nothing. Click on it anyway; it’s humorous. Hashimoto shows up in the second match, on the left.

The 4 Warriors of Light…?

Japanese gamers’ response to the announcement of Square’s new DS title was a bit reserved, chiefly because most expected the game to be SaGa 4 or Romancing SaGa 4.

38 ： ロベリア(長屋)：2009/07/01(水) 22:22:54.17 ID:v84Rl7Qt
The greatest disappointment of the year

41 ： デージー(コネチカット州)：2009/07/01(水) 22:22:58.47 ID:rNWQPbOU
This company is connected to the DS by the hip

57 ： ナズナ(dion軍)：2009/07/01(水) 22:23:31.62 ID:AGKRh+oE
Just stop making 3D DS games already!

93 ： ニリンソウ(九州・沖縄)：2009/07/01(水) 22:25:14.66 ID:Zl+dk6+/
Whew…I’m just glad the Romancing SaGa series is safe…

112 ： シバザクラ・フロッグストラモンティ(東京都)：2009/07/01(水) 22:25:58.92 ID:1riYtmX4
You people are ridiculously rough on Square.
Every day you’re all “Square makes nothing but remakes and sequels, fuck ‘em,” and when they put out a new game you treat it like shit

174 ： ナズナ(関西地方)：2009/07/01(水) 22:29:29.35 ID:OONQBAUt
>>112
It’s shit because they slapped the FF name on it
If it was actually a new title it’d be forgivable

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Sad news

Nihon Break Kogyo is apparently no more. The Yokohama-based demolitions firm was an Internet sensation about five years ago because one of their contracted part-time employees (who’s now a full-time professional musician) created a “company anthem” that totally rocked. You may remember it from the below video:

NBK commissioned this anthem in 2002 as part of a new PR package for its clients; it got into the hands of Tamori sometime in late 2003, he introduced it on TV, and it became a huge hit, even winding up on a Taiko Drum Master disc.

Their site suddenly went offline June 19. People assumed they had simply been done in by the poor economy, but the truth is far stranger:

“The 43-year-old president of a subsidiary that handled management rights for the NBK anthem, and his mother, a 65-year-old that had been with the company since its founding and ran all of its accounting, conspired together to embezzle the majority of the outfit’s money. A paper company that the woman’s new husband was president of was also involved in it. They were exposed in January this year, but they took the company for at least 500 million yen [$5.22 million] over the past three years — and that’s just what they’ve found so far. The company’s total yearly income only averaged 150 million yen, so they were in no shape to continue functioning.”

The company’s 20-person staff were all laid off in January, leaving only the president and founder, who’s preparing to sue the perpetrators in civil court. The article states that the mother-and-son team handled all of the royalties from the song, which means NBK itself never saw a single aluminum 1-yen piece from the massive, stereotypically Japanese boom.

Shame. The song’s pretty “I was diddling with my Casio” in style, but you can’t deny it’s catchy. There was a period in 2004 where you couldn’t walk ten feet in Akihabara without hearing this melody wafting through the air, offering a slight (very slight) respite from the hateful Sato Musen and Sofmap jingles of death.

Michael Jackson

360 ：名無しさん＠十周年：2009/06/26(金) 07:29:08 ID:ewvqKG6bP
I don’t get any of this

Someone explain it in Gundam terms

386 ：名無しさん＠十周年：2009/06/26(金) 07:30:05 ID:Q9LxEgMI0
>>360
Char dies in battle in Episode 1

Mr. Takanori Hashimoto

Hello, Magweaselers. Today I want to talk to you about Mr. Takanori Hashimoto, 7th dan in professional shogi over in Japan.

Here’s what Hashimoto looks like:

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My brother drank my “tea” (urine) and went to the hospital

My brother drank my “tea” (urine) and went to the hospital

>>3
I don’t play MMOs, it’s just a pain in the ass to go to the bathroom so I do it in an empty plastic bottle of tea. My brother came into my room to use the computer and drank it without knowing

7 ：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします：2009/06/08(月) 18:50:37.87 ID:1QDoMXIl0
Gimme the specs on your brother

>>7
15 years old, normal guy

Must be in pretty bad shape now though

9 ：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします：2009/06/08(月) 18:53:47.72 ID:3qcZhanrO
Damn, I never thought I’d run into a real-life bottler
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Do not screw with Ms. Hiraga of Tokyo’s necklaces

Did you know QVC had a Japanese channel? Did you know that they had a very amusing exchange with a customer live on TV several days back that’s become a viral-video sensation over there? Now you do!

QVC Japan is a bunch of wimps and has been removing the video (depicting two hosts selling an “18K Italian-Made Fancy Chain Necklace”) left and right across YouTube and Nicovideo, although people are re-uploading the clip to Nico on a pretty frenetic basis — Streisand effect, Asian style. Here’s a currently active Nico link.

I am too lazy to re-upload the sucker to YT and do my own subtitles, but here is a transcript:

Hostess: All right, we have a customer on the line. This is Ms. Hiraga from Tokyo. Hello?
Hiraga: Yes?
Hostess: Ah, Ms. Hiraga, good evening!
Hiraga: Good evening.
Hostess: So, which of Today’s Special Values are you…are you buying the necklace?
Hiraga: The necklace.
Host/Hostess: Thank you very much!
Hostess: If I may ask, how many of them did you purchase?
Hiraga: Five of them.
Hostess: Five?!
Hiraga: Yes.
Hostess: (sticks hand out, fingers spread) Five of them! Thank you very much! Um, are you going to be using them for a party, or for presents?
Hiraga: For a family gathering.
Hostess: A family gathering?
Hiraga: Yes.
Hostess: Oh, that’s wonderful!
Hiraga: No, it’s not wonderful. It’s not wonderful at all. It’s nothing unusual.

Studio: ………………………….

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When living alone…

What is 2ch?

Sometimes I’ll take humorous 2ch threads and translate them for laffs. This is the first in the series.

Subject: Things you notice for the first time when living alone

1 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/07/30(水) 15:35:54 ID:nIOaO9tu
You can’t do anything when you’re out of money
You can’t stomach anything besides lowfat milk
Cornflakes become your main sustenance

4 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/07/30(水) 19:33:52 ID:vp9ob/xf
The amount of pubic hair you have

16 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/08/02(土) 06:10:31 ID:L2Ck6Ac3
Sausage is a lot more expensive than you thought

26 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/09/09(火) 10:29:53 ID:q+fyD5+U
Sit around like you do at home and the place gets filthy in the blink of an eye.

Not cluttered, but filthy.
It’s horrible in here besides where I sit

8 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/07/30(水) 22:29:53 ID:lUQE5MM6
The toilet in your bathroom gets gross instantly

with hair, and dust, and hair and things

10 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/07/30(水) 22:55:32 ID:zHdLU90B
The Internet is God.

13 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/07/31(木) 11:25:13 ID:CMoI70I1
>>10
The two weeks it took to get the net connected in here were torture. Seriously

11 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/07/30(水) 23:01:01 ID:D844wCRY
You have to buy your own toilet paper

17 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/08/02(土) 07:30:46 ID:9sh96Bul
You can jerk off as much as you want

19 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/08/02(土) 09:08:14 ID:k+QKKEPl
The fact that I have no money management skills whatsoever.

Not that I spend much anyway, so I don’t need them that much.

Also, I am going to kill the neighbors next time they start screaming on their balcony.

32 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/09/12(金) 20:33:09 ID:/KxclMAf
You can’t put a cold pack on your back

36 ：774号室の住人さん ：2008/09/15(月) 00:56:12 ID:RpCbT+uA
I come home at night and drinks have not magically appeared in my refrigerator

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